Fairest 6

"Infinitely crazy -- that's how much. Here! Have a little chin music!"

- Briar Rose

Synopsis
''The concluding chapter of "Wide Awake!" Jonah Panghammer, bottle imp extraordinaire, had a plan: Ali Baba would find a treasure so rich he could give up thieving. Briar Rose would wake up and be allowed to go home. The Snow Queen would finally realize what her life could be like without the evil empire. And Jonah himself would be free to go his own way for once. Too bad Hadeon the Destroyer showed up to ruin everything.''

Plot
Having just called on the fairy godmothers to aid her in her duel with Hadeon, the Snow Queen is surprised when her opponent calls upon the judgment at Morencaire. This was a treaty agreed upon between the fairies that prevents them from performing acts of aggression against each other unless they, or specific people, places, and things directly challenged. Unfortunately, Hadeon has no intention of challenging the other fairies, and the Snow Queen's backup will have no choice by to watch her be murdered by Hadeon.

That is, until Briar Rose appears, and begins angrily chastising Hadeon for having laid such a horrible curse on a child, merely because she was not invited to the party. Unexpectedly, Briar Rose's fists land hard on Hadeon's jaw. Her fairy godmothers realize that the reason Hadeon has no protection against Briar Rose's physical attacks is that, technically, the curse she laid on the girl has already come true several times. Her magic will not waste itself trying to cause the death of someone it has already killed. Though Briar Rose had never actually died, her long sleeps were a way of spreading out that death out across time - so, in effect, the curse had worked. Before long, Briar Rose has knocked Hadeon unconscious.

Jonah Panghammer and Ali Baba arrive on the scene to find everything already resolved. Briar Rose has bested the evil fairy, and the Snow Queen now awaits Ali's love. Looking down on them all, the fairies wonder at how Briar Rose managed to be wakened by a man who apparently had a truer love for someone else. Apparently, the dedication he showed in trying to save her was enough for the spell's standards.

With Hadeon incapacitated, Briar Rose wonders what to do with her. Jonah insists that she be killed, because as soon as she wakes, she will be just as eager to kill her, and eventually she will find a way. One of the fairies suggests an alternative: Hadeon often turned former lovers into vehicles. They would turn her curse against her, and turn her into Briar Rose's vehicle.

Meanwhile, Ali Baba admits that he is in love with the Snow Queen, and promises that he will not turn out to be an asshole, for her sake. While he loves her, she responds that she merely likes him - but that like can grow into love. They say goodbye to Briar Rose and Jonah. As agreed, the Snow Queen gives Jonah his bottle, and, finally, he is his own master. Ali makes an inappropriate remark about polygamy, and the Snow Queen decides to punish him with years of being frozen to the ceiling of her castle.

As Briar Rose and Jonah drive off in their new car, the princess comments that she is through with love. Jonah explains that real, true love is something that takes work. It's not as simple as a kiss. She will have to look harder and work harder in order to get what she really wants. She drops him off at a burger joint, and seeks her fortune elsewhere.

Characters

 * Briar Rose
 * Ali Baba
 * Jonah Panghammer
 * The Snow Queen
 * Hadeon
 * Katrya
 * Sofiya
 * Nyura
 * Alyas
 * Ionna
 * Leysa